what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
