some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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