Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
