I look better un-naked...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
