Don't you send me to vm
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
