Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
