you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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