We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...