and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes