Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

Fav 5 1733 857
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"

Fav 43 7705 2204
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

Fav 14 4508 1074
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

Fav 30 6122 1454
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.

Fav 6 3434 1249
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

Fav 31 3295 1124
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

Fav 4 3723 1443
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.

Fav 6 1066 554
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry

Fav 0 160 237
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT