Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Taylor Swift is so right about you.

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(917): View more from New York City

i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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(301): View more from Maryland

Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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(805): View more from California

Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk

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(504): View more from Louisiana

if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.

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