Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.

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(406): my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick. http://tfl.nu/ik4i

Replies (10) Good night (1182) Bad night (1944)
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(707): View more from California

Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.

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(707): Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman. http://tfl.nu/1yjg

Replies (6) Good night (3482) Bad night (727)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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(703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh

Replies (4) Good night (1959) Bad night (5269)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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(267): he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana. http://tfl.nu/oxo3

Replies (9) Good night (4942) Bad night (1220)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge

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(856): dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge http://tfl.nu/cto3

Replies (5) Good night (2132) Bad night (1149)
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(713): View more from Texas

He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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(713): He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality" http://tfl.nu/r05f

Replies (10) Good night (3461) Bad night (1319)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?

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(910): Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe? http://tfl.nu/5w16

Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (2176)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.

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(662): She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina. http://tfl.nu/uqet

Replies (7) Good night (4115) Bad night (1001)
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(315): View more from New York

Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

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(315): Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here http://tfl.nu/edol

Replies (6) Good night (2057) Bad night (1888)
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(434): View more from Virginia

This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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(434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1

Replies (4) Good night (2365) Bad night (1264)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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(905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm

Replies (3) Good night (2272) Bad night (846)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.

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(503): Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur. http://tfl.nu/hsyp

Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (1696)
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(213): View more from California

And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

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(213): And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at http://tfl.nu/rkdn

Replies (5) Good night (1845) Bad night (618)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.

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(937): I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it. http://tfl.nu/ozbd

Replies (0) Good night (693) Bad night (322)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober

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(773): I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober http://tfl.nu/r8u7

Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (327)

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