Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

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(917): Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries. http://tfl.nu/38u7

Replies (10) Good night (1081) Bad night (3257)
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(804): View more from Virginia

you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

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(804): you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/f3jq

Replies (33) Good night (9864) Bad night (963)
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(281): View more from Texas

when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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(281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9

Replies (32) Good night (11265) Bad night (1400)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

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(973): I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you http://tfl.nu/07bs

Replies (21) Good night (6742) Bad night (1481)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.

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(501): Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread. http://tfl.nu/0vqb

Replies (7) Good night (3622) Bad night (1104)
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(317): View more from Indiana

just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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(317): just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing http://tfl.nu/zjbc

Replies (4) Good night (3059) Bad night (918)
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(773): View more from Illinois

If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.

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(773): If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you. http://tfl.nu/rtfn

Replies (6) Good night (1822) Bad night (656)
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(775): View more from Nevada

The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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(775): The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me http://tfl.nu/fs79

Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (622)
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(775): View more from Nevada

If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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(775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz

Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (346)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass

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(775): You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass http://tfl.nu/qd0r

Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (480)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.

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(423): It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers. http://tfl.nu/qq58

Replies (2) Good night (1372) Bad night (428)
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(519): View more from Ontario

What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?

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(519): What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ? http://tfl.nu/ckpy

Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (566)
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(315): View more from New York

Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.

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(315): Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick. http://tfl.nu/qw1c

Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (671)
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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower

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(770): She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower http://tfl.nu/znp7

Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (349)
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(303): View more from Colorado

apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...

(303): View more from Colorado

...it didn't...

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(303): apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him... (303): ...it didn't... http://tfl.nu/54y0

Replies (2) Good night (1035) Bad night (369)

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