And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?