I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?