You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are