Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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