The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
