That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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