she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize