Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...

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  (337): im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face... http://tfl.nu/9q5v
  Replies (16) Good night (738) Bad night (2584)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??

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  (636): they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach?? http://tfl.nu/tf8e
  Replies (21) Good night (1348) Bad night (4783)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..

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  (860): My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen.. http://tfl.nu/c7n8
  Replies (15) Good night (5412) Bad night (1541)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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  (630): Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night. http://tfl.nu/wu2q
  Replies (20) Good night (1259) Bad night (5545)
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  (619): View more from California

  It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

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  (619): It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot. http://tfl.nu/icc0
  Replies (7) Good night (3218) Bad night (1171)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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  (302): Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children. http://tfl.nu/9yhs
  Replies (3) Good night (2952) Bad night (1007)
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  (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1253) Bad night (3384)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

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  (301): Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard. http://tfl.nu/kick
  Replies (9) Good night (4235) Bad night (1148)
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  (789): View more from

  Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.

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  (789): Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back. http://tfl.nu/mvrr
  Replies (4) Good night (2284) Bad night (702)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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  (859): I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here. http://tfl.nu/288t
  Replies (4) Good night (1936) Bad night (765)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up

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  (301): Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up http://tfl.nu/i9yn
  Replies (17) Good night (1798) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.

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  (818): Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors. http://tfl.nu/xlbe
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron

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  (937): Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron http://tfl.nu/gvqp
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup

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  (619): I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup http://tfl.nu/dv60
  Replies (8) Good night (1272) Bad night (601)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals

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  (413): He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals http://tfl.nu/hgzz
  Replies (4) Good night (1084) Bad night (507)

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