when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bring me that man meat
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
