Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
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Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
being pregnant is like rehab
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It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.