You work out of a Hotel?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again