Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
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This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
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Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.