do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
