I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
