We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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