wat bout pragnant strippers??
this beer tastes like vomit already
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
