It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
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how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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