just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's official drugs can't kill me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
