Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
