I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
