no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
