found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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