i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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