arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
