I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
