it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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