last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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