I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
