Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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