i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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