She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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