dude i'm inner monologue high
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
