Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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