Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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