Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
