Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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