Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
