I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem