I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.