I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think my mom watched the whole time
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.