physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.