Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude