My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
