So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
