What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
