You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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