So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
