New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
