they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize