I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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