i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
