I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude i'm inner monologue high
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize