she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
