I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
