Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
