dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
