If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
