$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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